


Please, Let Me Help

by GlassRoom



Series: Dean and Cas [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Closet Dean, Hurt Dean, M/M, Stirrings, Yearning, closet feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-18
Updated: 2016-01-18
Packaged: 2018-05-14 21:06:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5758840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlassRoom/pseuds/GlassRoom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas can't heal, but he can help</p>
            </blockquote>





	Please, Let Me Help

“That's it, I can barely keep my eyes open.” Sam said as he rubbed his face. “I'm off to bed.” He gave the open book in front of him a little shove as he stood up. “We can do this in the morning. Dean? Dean!”

 

Dean jumped a bit and tried to cover it up with a cough. “I'm fine, you go.” He looked up at his brother's face and noted the wrinkles of concern lining Sam's forehead. “I'm fine. Cas will keep an eye on me, won'tcha Cas?” Dean started to send Cas a warning look until he remembered that Cas never picked up on that kind of thing. He took a swig of beer instead.

 

Cas nodded at Sam. “Yes. I will see to it that Dean gets rest soon.”

 

“All right, I guess. Seriously Dean, go to bed soon. You're no good to us like this.” Sam stretched and walked away from the common table and towards the hallway to the bedrooms. “Early start tomorrow!” He called over his shoulder as he disappeared from view.

 

“You really should get some rest Dean. I can help if you want,” Cas said quietly.

 

Dean stared at the table and swirled the beer in the bottle. He remembered the last time Cas took away all the pain on the inside. It felt so good to be held like that. So peaceful and calm. He squashed the memory and emotion before it could get the better of him. “I'm good, thanks Cas,” Dean grumbled as he stood up quickly. Too quickly, it turned out. He lost his balance and the table would have broken his fall if Cas hadn't reached out and caught him. For just a second, Dean allowed himself to be caught. His muscles loosened up a bit as he started to relax in Cas's arms. As he turned his head he inhaled Cas's scent and felt a flood of peace and goodness. Part of Dean wanted to stay there forever, safe and warm. The other part took over and Dean tore himself from Cas's embrace.

 

Dean grabbed his beer and downed the remainder in one gulp, then banged the bottle down on the table. “Fine. I'll go. I'm going.” He straightened his back and managed to take a couple of steps before the limp came back.

“Dean...please...let me help you,” Cas stood waiting for permission, his eyes pleading with Dean.

 

“All right,” Dean said gruffly. “Fine. C'mere and be my crutch.”

 

Cas immediately went to Dean's side and gently put his arm around Dean's waist, lifting him slightly to take the pressure off of Dean's sore knee and ankle. They walked to Dean's bedroom slowly, Cas allowing Dean to set the pace while continuing to hold him up so walking was a bit easier.

When they arrived at Dean's bedroom, Cas pulled away and returned Dean's full weight to him. Dean grunted and put a hand up on the door frame to steady himself. Cas opened the door and waited for Dean to collect himself.

“I can help you Dean. I can take your pain from you.”

“No! Cas...your grace is running out. You can't use it on me to heal me. I'll heal just fine.” Dean angrily pushed himself into the bedroom and stumbled to the bed. “I'm fine.”

“You are not fine. I can help without using my grace. Dean. Please. Let me try.”

Dean looked over at Cas and realized that he had to turn his head up just to look Cas in the eye. The pain in his shoulder was causing him to slump over. Once he admitted that to himself, he could also feel a hot searing pain in his knee, the bite of his ankle when he rested weight on the foot, multiple cuts, and stitches that itched and twinged. Obviously the pain meds he'd taken with the beer hadn't really worked – or maybe they did and he'd pass out from pain otherwise. There was also something deep in his belly, like a ball of acid, that appeared whenever he thought of the people he'd killed. Normally he could push it away or drown it in whisky but today it overwhelmed him. Defeated, he looked up at Cas and nodded almost imperceptibly.

Cas took a grateful step forward and held out his arms. “Door! Cas shut the door!” Dean barked. He felt uneasy at the idea of his brother knowing what he was doing.

“Of course.” Cas quickly went to the door and closed it then took a step towards Dean. He could see the battle playing out in Dean's features: wanting to be tough but on the border of crying like a small, hurt child. “In order to do this, I will need to encircle you with my arms. Is that all right?”

Dean nodded but still would not look Cas in the eye. He could barely admit to himself that he had been craving this, wanting it, needing it from Cas since that one time. He couldn't figure out how he could feel this way about Cas when Cas was a dude. Seriously, a dude. Well, OK, an angel...but still in dude form.

Very carefully, Cas reached out and stepped closer to Dean. He felt the muscles in Dean's upper arm relax at his touch. He slid his hand to Dean's shoulder and around to Dean's upper back, feeling the softness of the shirt covering the hardness of Dean's build. Before Dean could pull away, Cas brought his other hand up and placed it on Dean's lower back, completely surrounding him.

Dean felt relieved almost instantly. The pain was fading fast and his head was spinning with something new and unfamiliar. Without wanting to be obvious he turned his head so he could inhale Cas's scent at the base of his neck. Tentatively, Dean allowed himself to slip his hands under Cas's jacket and return the embrace.

Cas groaned quietly and tightened his grip on Dean. In doing so he pressed his thighs and pelvis up against Dean. Now that as much of Cas was in contact with Dean as possible, Cas focused on flooding Dean with an aura of peace and kindness. It worked.

Dean felt his muscles turn to mush...except one. The surge of bliss from Cas caused him to gasp out loud, close to Cas's ear. His hands involuntarily clutched at the fabric on Cas's back as he lowered his head to Cas's shoulder and closed his eyes. For a single moment the world was only goodness, purity, and light. Dean felt as though his soul could soar outside his painful vessel if he could just let go.

A vague sense of discomfort brought Dean back to reality. His head cleared a bit and he suddenly became aware the Castiel had a huge erection that was pressing up against Dean's hip. Instinct kicked in and he tore away from Castiel's firm grip. Even more confusing for Dean was the throbbing boner he was sporting.

“What. The Fuck. Cas.” Dean snarled as he sat down heavily on the bed. “Seriously. Angels don't get...like that...” Dean trailed off while waving in the general direction of Cas's pelvis.

“Yes. No. Wait.” Cas closed his eyes to gather himself before continuing. He opened his eyes and looked directly at Dean, who met his gaze with some difficulty. “I don't know exactly why this is happening. My vessel responded like this before, when my grace was gone. I had...intercourse...with a woman. It was very...pleasant...but not...um...”

Dean realized that Cas seemed very uncomfortable, maybe even more uncomfortable than Dean felt right in that moment. “Look. Cas. Just stop, OK? Stop.” Dean held up his hand and looked away. “It's fine. Let's, ida know, forget about it. Not talk about it. OK?”

“Dean...I want to explain. You are-”

“Stop! I gotta rest right now. We can talk later, all right?” Dean said harshly.

Castiel waited for a moment just in case Dean was wanting to talk more. This was not the case so he turned to leave.

“Cas!” Dean grouched, then softened his tone. “I feel better. Thanks for doing the...thing.” He could not bring himself to look directly at Cas and instead focused on Cas's hand. “But don't tell anyone, especially Sam. Got it?”

Cas nodded, then replied aloud when he saw that Dean wasn't looking. “Of course. I'll go now, let you rest.” He waited a beat hoping Dean would invite him to stay. When the invitation didn't come he turned to leave, taking care to be quiet opening and closing the door. Once on the outside of the door, Castiel gently put a hand up on the door panel, allowing his fingertips to feel the smoothness of the wood. He closed his eyes and lowered his head slightly. His hand came away from the door and formed a loose fist to knock and ask to be invited back in. Before his knuckle made contact with the wood he turned away quickly. There would be other occasions to show Dean how he felt. It was becoming distracting to Cas, how much he wanted to be around Dean. Respecting Dean's wishes, Cas made his way back to the common room and wait for the brothers to wake up.

Once the door was closed Dean stood up quickly in his bedroom. He opened his mouth to call out to Cas, wanting nothing more than to be back in his embrace. At the last second he gave himself a small smack on the mouth to shut himself up. 'It felt good, it's over, that's it,' Dean told himself. He unbuttoned his jeans in preparation for bed, allowing his hand to graze his stiffened member. All of the peace and kindness and joy and euphoria came flooding into his hard organ. Dean barely had time to get his hand inside his underwear before he erupted in a sticky, gooey mess. After some clean up, Dean had the best sleep he'd had in months.


End file.
